Noticing
by TeaNSympathy
Summary: Bobby doesn't want Abby around the firehouse, but not for the reason Buck thinks.


Author note: I do like Abby and Buck together, but I'm also quite obsessed with the possibility of Abby and Bobby, so I wrote this. Thanks for reading!

Bobby Nash knows that love is no longer an option for him. That part of his life ended on that horrible night when he lost everything. He understands this, has accepted it, has trained himself so that when he is around women he sees them only as categories, statistics. Breathing, not breathing. Pulse rate. Height, weight. Visible wounds. When the badge bunnies swarm him after a rescue, as happens semi-regularly, he brushes off their advances as he would any other temporary inconvenience. He no longer even thinks about sex any more, not really, except for the occasional dream where Marcy is alive and warm and with him and then the waking is agony all over again and he dreads those dreams even more than all the rest.

His carefully cultivated indifference to women makes it vastly more disturbing when he realizes he is starting to notice things about Abby Clark. Dangerous things. Things like the way her silky waterfall of hair shines like syrup on pancakes in a sunny kitchen, the cinnamon spatter of freckles on her nose, the vaguely citrusy smell of her perfume- grapefruit? Lemon? He doesn't know and doesn't want to know and yet he wonders. The soft blue depth of her eyes behind her glasses and the way her voice wraps around him like a down comforter on a chilly night. Her clothes, the oversized cardigans and the baggy overalls that would be so easy to slip a hand inside... None of it is anything he should be aware of, and yet he is, and it is driving Bobby crazy.

The first time Buck brought her by the firehouse, for Chimney's welcome back party, he'd asked Bobby's permission and Bobby had given it gladly. Although he was skeptical about the allegedly non-sexual relationship, he hoped having a friend to talk to would help Buc sort himself out. As time went on, though, Abby had become a more and more frequent presence, appearing at dinners and stopping by at odd times. Bobby didn't like it. She distracts him and distractions have no place in his life.

It all comes to a head the day she stops by when Buck is out. Bobby is cooking chili, planning to freeze it for future dinners, and feels his stomach clench at the sight of her familiar auburn head. She wears jeans that are faded and comfortable-looking and a peach sweater that nearly matches the delicate skin on her collarbone.

"Hey, Bobby. Is Buck around?"

He looks up from the pot only briefly.

"Meeting with Human Resources. Don't know when he'll be back."

"Oh. OK. Could you do me a favor?"

He grunts affirmatively.

She produces a cell phone and walks over to place it next to him on the counter. He smells citrus (Tangerine? Lime?)

"Could you give Buck his cell phone back? He forgot it this morning and I'm sure he'll be freaking out."

This morning. So much for the alleged no-sleeping-together of whatever this thing she has going on with Buck is.

He doesn't say anything, but Abby seems to read his thoughts. Her cheeks flush pink.

"We had breakfast together before work. He left it on the table at the restaurant."

She doesn't owe him an explanation, of course, but he is glad Buc was telling the truth.

"I'll give it to him. Thanks"

He waits for her to leave but she doesn't. She leans against the counter, looking at him quizzically.

"Great. How are you, Bobby? How's your day going?"

He does not want to chat with her. He wants her gone.

"Busy. Lots to do."

He stirs the chili, dislodging a stubborn clump of beans from the side of the pot. Fortuitously the timer goes off and he occupies himself with pulling a pan of corn bread from the oven.

"Did you need anything else?" It comes out much more curtly than he intends it to, a clear dismissal.

"I- no." Her voice has the tiniest quiver of hurt. "I'd better get to work. Thanks for giving Buc the phone."

She leaves and he is relieved. Until the next morning when Buck confronts him.

"Why don't you like Abby?" he demands.

Bobby almost chokes on his mouthful of coffee.

"I like Abby fine. What's the problem?"

"She thinks you hate her. She feels like maybe she should stop coming by. What's going on, man? If you don't want around here, just tell me. You don't need to snap at her. Whatever happened yesterday when she dropped off my phone really hurt her feelings."

Now Bobby is starting to feel guilty. There's really no reason for Buck not to bring his no-sex girlfriend around. Chimney and Hen adore her and Buck's been so much calmer and more stable since they started seeing each other. The fact that Bobby can't seem to control his thoughts around her is no reason to screw things up for everybody.

"Sorry. Just a lot on my mind. If you want to keep bringing her by, no problem."

"Great!" Buck's ebullience is instantly restored. He claps Bobby on the shoulder and grabs two doughnuts from the box on the table. "I just don't want anything to go wrong. She's pretty amazing, isn't she? Don't know how I got so lucky!" He whistles as he heads out of the room.

Bobby doesn't begrudge the younger man his happiness, although the constant whistling and grinning is growing slightly annoying. He can definitely understand it, though. Because the truth is, Abby Clark is pretty amazing. She is sweet and funny, smart and generous, warm and caring, sexy and beautiful in a uniquely Abby way. She is everything. And even if things were different, even if she weren't Buck's, Bobby Nash has no business noticing any of that.

But he does.


End file.
